grey, gray, gross.

I'm done.  I don't care anymore about working things out with my parents. I'm done trying to change for them. Yes I will change for me. But i could care less what they want and how they feel about me. I'm just done. I can't feel anything. I have no emotion. I can't cry, be happy, I'm just there. I wish I had real friends that I could go hang out with, and talk to. But the sad thing is, If I had to pick one of my 'friends' to lean on and to ask for help from..it would be Jeremy, thats so sad. I want a friend, not a youth pastor. I mean yeah, I want a youth pastor also but I want a friend. One I can just go hang out with and not really have a plan. I......I guess I don't know really. I want my own island. One where I'm all by myself and don't have anyone. kinda like right now...