Feelings?, truth?, lies?

I feel so unwanted right now. My mom has a friend, family member, what ever that is telling her I say horrible things about her on Facebook. I have much better things to talk about than her. I don't get why she wont believe me when I tell her I never said anything. I feel like I'm the adult and she's the child. I feel like no one there has changed. I feel like everyone is against me, even distant relatives. I feel like everyone hates me...and this is MY FAMILY! I feel like I don't belong. I feel like i have torn our whole family apart. literally. I don't agree with any of this, but I'm the one to blame. I have been my whole life. But I guess I just figured that people would change and things could get better. But maybe I was wrong in thinking that. I should have tried harder to kill myself....Things would never be resolved between my brother and parents, but it doesn't matter because they take his side anyway, they believe him over me because he's older or something..I honestly feel about as useless and wanted as a white crayon......I don't want to go back to that madness. I don't want to live in fear again. I don't want to go back..Please...don't make me have to go back.

You the worst human being to exist.

How dare you say it was just a "brother and sister fight" We may be brother and sister, but that doesn't set aside the fact that it was domestic violence, HE hit me. He's 20 years old. It's not okay. And no, your not doing anything about it, you never have and you never will. If you had 'done something' about it, it wouldn't constantly be an issue. Stop trying to make me the bad guy. Yeah, I tried to kill myself....but because of what he did and because you wouldn't do anything about it. Also, don't you dare say "You keep saying he hit you, but there were no marks on you" Because my jaw wouldn't open all the way, or close at all. You are the WORST parent in the whole world. You say you are holy and a godly man, but you just need to shut up, you are full of lies and i hate you. You will never be the man you are supposed to be because you are to busy trying to display this image, that in all reality, you will never be. You are so full of yourself and don't care about anyone. You can try and pull off the act like you really do care about others, but I see through you! You will not fool me! You are NOT the man I thought you were, you are NOT the man who sat on my bed and cried with me because I told you I never knew what it felt like to be truly happy until mom left..you are not the man who went and talked to Jeremy and told him to keep on doing what ever it is he is doing in my life.....you are NOT that man. And I honestly want to know if you ever were. I am completely disgusted with you and I don't ever want to see you again. Obviously that wont be an option but I'm tired of being blamed for everything. I feel like this is a fight of me V.s them.....and I never EVER thought the 'them' would be my family. Why don't you all just admit that you hate me. Why don't you all just admit that you never wanted me around. Why don't you admit that mom actually killed me in that car wreck, why don't you just admit that you wish she got rid of me when she had the chance, and why don't you just admit that you wish I succeeded when I tried to kill myself. I was in the hospital for 6 days. dad visited 2 times and mom came once. Neither one called. Yes, I called Jeremy,  twice a day, everyday. And if he didn't answer, I left a voicemail....but guess what he called back.... he cares...He wasn't allowed to visit, so that's why he didn't...but you were allowed, but didn't take advantage of it. You don't call or text..not even at a minimum of once a week while I'm here, you don't act excited to see me when you pick me up. Why don't you just admit you never liked me and you've always hated me and that you want to get rid of me for good. Are you not man enough to admit that?